RUNNING (THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT)
THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT
Have you ever wanted something so bad that you could almost taste it? Sitting on the front porch, I leaned back in my wicker chair and let the April sun warm my face. I deeply swallowed the bitterness, regret, and desperation that packed my mouth and prayed that it didn’t make my stomach erupt violently. The melodic sound of children’s laughter filled my ears and brought tears to my eyes. I had run out of time and excuses.
I had been married to my husband, Bryan, for six years. Six love filled years I had stood by his side, supported him, encouraged him, made a home for him, and lied to him. Bryan desperately wanted children and I, Charlene “Charlie” Hanks, could not give them to him.
I knew that when we married but I never told him. I figured I’d cross that bridge when I got to it. Not only was I at but I was standing in the middle watching the wooden planks fall to the dark depths below.
Had I known that one day I would have found a man as wonderful as Bryan I would have made different decisions in my life. Laughing silently, I shook my head. At age 32, I was too young to be looking back at life with regrets but there I was bursting at the seams with it.
Rocking slightly in the chair, I brought the wine to my lips and gulped deeply. Closing my eyes, I let the tears fall freely as I thought back on the bad choices I made with the wrong people, two to be exact. All the while I watched another plank land into the abyss beneath me.
Markai 1995
Puberty hit me like a ton of bricks the summer of 1995. I went from a tall and lanky cinnamon brown girl to a curvy woman. My hips spread, my ass rounded, and my 38D breasts came from nowhere putting an arch in my back and a switch in my walk. My wavy brown hair with natural hints of red and gold swung past my shoulders and framed my almond shaped hazel eyes. All of this combined with long curly eyelashes, high cheekbones, and full lips made the boys take notice and my father buy a gun.
I was the last of my friends to hit womanhood and still be a virgin and my parents wanted keep it that way. My Mexican father and Jamaican mother kept me firmly under their thumbs.
I was fifteen and dying for a taste of freedom. My machismo filled father thought he had scared off most of the boys, not they were looking at me before anyways. But once my body developed so did their interest.
One hot June afternoon my girls and I walked down the block to the corner store of our Minneapolis neighborhood. Jodeci bumped from stereos and the scent of barbeque was thick in the air. Boys hung out on stoops, screaming out catcalls and making vulgar gestures.
It felt as if the sun was beating solely on us and I was sweating bullets. Dressed in bright red shorts and a white fitted t-shirt, I looked at my best friend Taye. It seemed obvious to me that she was getting the most play out of all of us. It was the 90s and light skinned was definitely in.
Taye looked like that singer Faith Evans. She was a few inches shorter than my 5’7” height but just as built and had flawless skin. She had inherited her Irish father’s bright emerald eyes and her black mother’s curly hair. I was jealous because her parents let her sport the braids Janet Jackson had in Poetic Justice. I asked my mom for the same hairstyle and she cursed me out in her native Patois.
Nearing the corner store, I nearly stopped dead in my tracks. There in front of the entrance was Markai Phillips. God, I loved him, had loved him since elementary school.
He was a God amongst mere mortals. Deep chocolate skin covered his tall muscular frame. Dreadlocks brushed the top of his wide shoulders. Black eyes took in everything around him, ready to escape any unforeseen danger. His skin gleamed in white basketball shorts and Bulls’ jersey.
Taking a deep breath, I continued my trek and prayed that I wouldn’t embarrass myself. Taye and the others spoke to everyone outside and went inside the store, the cool air providing a temporary relief from the oppressive heat. I intended to do the same when I felt a tug on my arm.
Turning on the heel of my Adidas sneakers, hazel eyes connected with coal black ones. Energy radiated between us and I waited for Markai to say something, anything. He smiled and his white teeth stood out in stark contrast to his dark skin.
“Charlie Martinez, right?”
“Yeah,” I whispered shyly. “Markai Phillips?” I asked though I knew exactly who he was.
“Yeah that’s me.” His assessing eyes perused my body in obvious interest. “You look good. Real good.”
A blush stole my cheeks. “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.”
His laughter was hearty. I didn’t know if it was at me or my comment. I wasn’t like Taye. I didn’t know how to flirt with a boy.
Defeated, I turned to leave. “Whoa, where are you going?”
“I gotta catch up with my girls.”
He looked towards the store then back at me. “Aight, cool. Look, I’m throwing a house party next week. It costs two dollars but you can be my special guest.”
“Special guest, huh? I don’t know.” And I didn’t.
There was no way in hell that I could convince my overprotective parents to let me go off the block let alone to a party and I was fifteen!
Placing my small hands in his, he stepped closer to me. “Don’t say no. Just say you’ll think about it.”
Before I could respond the door opened and my girls came out, carrying a bunch of snacks.
Taye looked back and forth from me to Markai and grabbed my hand. “Come on, Charlie.” Allowing her to lead me down the block, I gave Markai a tiny wave. “Listen to me, Charlie. Stay away from that nigga. He ain’t shit and you’re too inexperienced. He’ll eat you alive.”
Looking over my shoulder, I glanced at him and my heart broke. In less than two minutes he was already up in another girl’s face. I turned back around and decided to heed Taye’s advice. Markai Phillips wasn’t worth my time.
The view from the porch of my parents’ ranch style home gave me a partially unobstructed view of the Fourth of July fireworks. That view was the only one I was going to get so I was happy with it. At least this year I was able to be outside instead of locked in the house like a fragile princess.
With my parents at the local bar and my friends all downtown at the lake front I was all alone. I wasn’t scared but I did keep my father’s gun tucked in my waistband just in case anyone decided to get any ideas.
The loud booming of the fireworks muffled every sound around me. That was why I didn’t see the shadowy figure coming towards me until it was nearly on the porch. I stifled the scream that threatened to erupt from the pit of my stomach and reached for the gun. The light from the fireworks and the porch light illuminated the figure.
“Markai?” I whispered.
“Hey pretty girl, wassup?”
Rolling my eyes, I sighed in relief. “Boy, you almost got killed.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said, taking an uninvited seat on my porch.
“What do you want, Markai?” I snapped.
The smile left his eyes and face and confusion replaced it. “What’s wrong with you? What did Taye say to you?”
“Taye didn’t say anything to me. Your actions showed me your true colors.” He continued to stare at me perplexed and I decided to throw him a bone. “Seconds after I left, you were all in another girl’s face.”
His eyes narrowed in concentration as he tried to remember the exact order of events that transpired two weeks prior. I knew he figured it out when his face lit up in another smile, angering me all the more.
“Ah, you’re talking about Marcia. Girl, that’s my cousin’s woman. You thought I was trying to run game on her? You must think I’m foul as hell.”
Truer words had never been spoken though foul was the word I would use. “Well, your reputation isn’t the best.”
“You shouldn’t believe the words of jealous females.” He looked off into the dark sky bursting with our country’s colors as if it held all the answers to unlocking my soul. “I guess you wouldn’t believe me if I said I could be different with you.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” I stated honestly with a shrug.
His deep sigh was muffled by the booming sounds of fireworks and the high pitched wail of police sirens. “Then I guess I’ll have to show you.”
Though my eyes were focused on the lilac bushes my mother had painstakingly tended to, I felt the heat from his body against the length of the right side of my body. My breathing became labored and my hands were sweaty. A sensation akin to nervousness filled the pit of my stomach and I waited with bated breath.
Markai’s long fingers gripped my chin in a firm grip and turned my face towards his. He was so close the tip of his sharp nose touched mine, his breath fanned my face, and his lips were a whisper away.
His hand left my chin and snaked its way through my unbound hair. Jolts of pleasure zigzagged from my scalp, past my heaving breasts, to my stomach, and settled in the juncture of my thighs. I pressed them tightly together trying to assuage it.
Markai trailed his nose across my jawline to my ear and pressed a light kiss beneath it. My breath caught in my chest then eased out in a luxurious moan. His lips tentatively touched mine then his tongue delved in. Our tongues dueled and danced, I caught on quick.
His hands gripped my hips tightly, placing me on his lap, and I melted into him. Our bodies meshed together perfectly as if the Lord had created us for each other, my heavy breasts pressed against his strong chest, his hard dick cradled between my quaking thighs. Timidly, I allowed my hands to indulge in the sensation of his smooth skin against my fingertips.
A car horn jolted us from the sensual haze and I leapt off his lap. Both of us had trouble catching our breath. Sheepishly, I stole a sideways glance at him and blushed.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Charlie. It was bound to happen.”
I stayed silent, words escaped me. Here I was weeks away from turning sixteen and I was putting my life in jeopardy by kissing the neighborhood roughneck on my parents’ stoop. Lord only knows what would have happened if they had come home.
“I want you, Charlie.” He took a few steps off the porch and the streetlights casted a shadow across his face, giving him a roguish look. With the confidence of a man twice his age, he flashed that pretty smile at me and winked. “We’re together now, baby girl.”
I watched in stunned silence as he self-assuredly walked his fine self down the street, leaving me alone with my thoughts and raging libido.
